论文总字数：30982字

摘 要

随着全球化程度的不断加深，不同的文化面临着冲突和融合。婚俗作为一种重要的文化，也在不断地变化。在中国，人们摈弃了一些传统的婚礼习俗，越来越多的采用西式婚礼习俗。这一现象，引起了许多国内外学者的兴趣。为了能够全面地了解婚俗文化，客观地对待文化冲突与融合，研究中西方婚俗文化差异很有必要。本文从婚礼前，婚礼中和婚礼后三个方面对中西方的婚礼过程做了一个较为全面的对比，从不同的角度揭示中西方婚礼过程的差异。本文还从历史文化层面、集体主义和个人主义的角度和婚恋观视角探讨了形成这些差异的原因。文章希望通过对这些婚俗文化的对比分析，提供一些较为客观的对待文化融合与冲突的见解。

关键词：婚礼习俗；文化差异；文化融合；主要原因

Contents

1. Introduction 1

2. The Process of Wedding 2

2.1 Pre-wedding 2

2.2While-wedding 4

2.3 Post-wedding 6

3. Reasons for the Phenomena 8

3.1 The influence of historical and cultural background 8

3.2 The influence of collectivism and individualism 9

3.3 The influence of different love and marriage concepts 10

4. Conclusion 10

Works Cited 12

1. Introduction

Marriage is a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between the man and the woman. A good marriage not only benefits the whole family but also contributes to the harmony of the society.

Wedding customs is an important reflection of marriage. It reflects the special culture of a country. It appeared almost at the same time when marriage turned up. It displays a distinctive aspect of a people’s convention, aesthetic standard, ethical view, social consciousness, and psychological characteristics of the nation. All the cultures contain wedding customs. It announces of the legal contract between the new couple. As human society is developing constantly, wedding customs are accordingly changing constantly.

Chinese wedding customs, influenced by the long history and tradition, are of distinctive charm. But the western wedding customs are different from Chinese wedding customs in terms of the styles and of the essential native features, as the geographical environment, history, religion and other factors are so different.

Under the circumstance of globalization, traditional Chinese wedding customs are confronted with the challenge from western wedding customs. Many young people are willing to hold their weddings in a western fashion or in a mixed fashion. This phenomenon arouses the interest of many scholars. They begin to make comparative studies of the Chinese and western wedding customs. In the year 2008, Professor Pan Jinwen elaborated on the cultural differences by studying the differences of the wedding banquet, dressing and wedding procedures. In the year 2009, Xi Xiao in her paper, made a comparison between “Chinese wedding customs and western customs from the angle of clothing, color, wedding banquet and the expense of holding a wedding.”(Xi Xiao, 2008: 226) By analyzing the above aspects, she drew a conclusion of the different values of Chinese people and western people. But her paper lacked a detailed comparison between the differences between the values of Chinese people and the values of western people. In the year 2012, Li Lili published a paper. Her paper’s attention was focused on the influence of different religions on wedding customs. It analyzed the differences reflected from the wedding customs mainly from the following three aspects: “love and marriage concepts, man’s status and woman’s status in a marriage, and the aesthetic attitude.”(Li Lili, 2012: 34) Foreign scholars are also interested in the differences of wedding customs in different cultures. For example, Dodd Collins, an expert in cross-cultural communication, regarded cross-cultural marriage as a breakthrough in cross-cultural communication and he had given a more systematic and persuasive exploration. He interpreted “the relation exists in cross-cultural marriage and culture-related phenomena.”(Collins, 2004: 227)

It is necessary to learn about the differences between Chinese wedding customs and western wedding customs. This thesis explores the differences of Chinese and western wedding procedures and tries to provide a reasonable explanation for these differences. It aims to advocate people to keep an objective and open-minded attitude toward cultural conflict and integration.

2. The Process of Wedding

The process of wedding is quite complicated in both the eastern and the western countries. Before the wedding day, there are many things that should be prepared well. The biggest differences in preparing for the wedding between China and western countries is the way of making a proposal, at the same time, there are many differences in wedding dress and wedding media. In the wedding day, wedding ceremony in china and western countries is also quiet different, as well as the wedding banquet. The differences also appear in activities celebrating the wedding. The paper will show these differences in detail.

2.1 Pre-wedding

Before wedding, proposal, marriage media and wedding clothing are of comparative significance to study. In China, it is the matchmaker who makes the proposal to the bride-to-be. While in western countries, it is the bridegroom-to-be who makes the proposal. As for the marriage media, in China, the matchmaker usually plays this role. But in western countries, the priest is the marriage media. In terms of wedding dress, as we all know, a Chinese traditional wedding dress is totally different from a western one.

2.1.1 Ways of proposal

In ancient China, marriage is basically arranged by parents. After the prospective groom obtained his family’s consent to marry, he would make preparation for a formal marriage proposal. However, the groom-to-be was not expected to make the proposal personally because the will-be newlyweds were not allowed to meet each other before wedding because it was unlucky to do so. So the groom-to-be had to send his friends or a matchmaker to the future father-in-law’s home to convey his intention to marry his daughter. When matchmaker or friend of the groom-to-be went to make a proposal, he must bring a certain amount of dowry to bride-to-be’s family, and then the matchmaker would be treated with a sumptuous dinner for thanks. As time goes on, nowadays, the proposal is mainly the groom’s mission. However, some traditional habitudes still should be followed.

Proposal in western is quite different from Chinese one. But the custom of making a proposal had almost no change. Man and woman are free to contact with each other. Their parents will not interfere. When the man and the woman fall in love with each other and decide to live together, the man will propose to the woman in a romantic way. Usually the man, with red rose and ring, will kneel and ask a woman to marry him. If the girl promises him, they will choose a lucky day for the wedding. The whole process of making a proposal has nothing to do with matchmaker or money.

Nowadays, the way of making a proposal in China is mixed with the western way. If a Chinese man wants to marry his beloved girl, he must make a proposal by himself, and then the man still need to treat matchmaker for gratitude.

2.1.2 Clothing

The mass-tone in Chinese wedding is red which stands for liveliness and flourish while the mass-tone in western wedding is white which symbolizes purity and holiness.

In the traditional Chinese wedding, wedding dress of the bride and the groom was quite exquisite. The bride usually dresses red gown, wearing a gold tiara with a piece of silk scarves. And the groom wears red gown jacket, wearing red cap. Chinese held the view that the red can bring good luck and happiness. In accordance with the fiery tone, the bride and the groom must wear in bright red. Traditionally, the bride must prepare her red gown by herself before the wedding day, as the date of wedding was fixed, the bride-to-be should tailor her clothe earnest. The groom’ clothe also should be prepared well before wedding. So making wedding dress was an important thing before wedding.

Wedding dress in western countries is also of great significance. The bride in western countries wear white dress and a long bridal veil, and the groom wear tailored suits. It was a tradition that the bride must wear clothing including something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. So before wedding, the bride-to-be should make good preparation of her wedding dress. To echo with the mass tone of the wedding, most brides would choose elegant white dress, while the groom could choose both white and black suit. In the era of Queen Victoria, only the upper classes can wear a white dress which means the power and identity. Till modern times, the white wedding dress became an ordinary bride"s dress. In accordance with the mass tone of wedding, the whole ceremony was full of solemnity and holiness. In contrast to the fondness of the western white wedding dress, Chinese wedding dress trended to red color.

Nowadays, many Chinese brides would like to choose white dress as their wedding dress. However, many western brides now would like to dress in traditional Chinese wedding dress for its beautiful elegant manual design.

2.1.3 Wedding media

During the wedding process, the wedding media makes an important role in both eastern and western wedding. To most Chinese people, they are not strange with matchmaker. But to the western, priest is the wedding media.

Matchmaker was one of the core people to Chinese traditional wedding. The matchmaker would appear in the whole process of the wedding. First, the matchmaker was the earliest person who introduced a new couple to each other. Second, the matchmaker would also make contributions in the following procedures after introduction in marriage. So selected the right person worked as matchmaker was quite important.

However, priest in western wedding is not always needed during the whole process. His most important duty is to host the wedding ceremony. The western hold the view that wedding ceremony is a significant part of marriage and an important way to get god’s save. They believe that marriage is not valid, unless the ceremony is hosted by priest. What’s more, their marriage, guided by the priest can get more favor from God. So the priest is necessary in wedding since they are the embodiment of God.

By comparing, matchmaker in china and priest in western countries are both the needed in the wedding. But the function and significance are quiet different.

2.2While-wedding

Since everything has been ready, the wedding day comes. Wedding ceremony is regarded as the most important part in wedding procedure. With the different wedding customs, wedding ceremony in the eastern and the western is also different. Traditional Chinese wedding ceremony was held in the groom’s home. The groom went to pick up his bride home, and then was wedding ceremony. The next part is wedding banquet. On the contrary, the western wedding ceremony is quite another thing. Most western wedding ceremony is held in church under the guidance of the priest. After making their pledge, the wedding will turn to wedding banquet at another place. The detailed information is as followed.

2.2.1 Wedding ceremony

The process of wedding ceremony in ancient China is quite complicated. In the morning, the groom must come to take the bride to his home. After the groom and his bride must arrived home before the auspicious time, for the bride and groom must finished wedding rites on time. During the wedding ceremony, the traditional rites were three bows which called “Baitang”: the first blow for the ancestors, then for the parents and the last for each other, the whole course is full of respect. Then the newlyweds would be sent to bridal chamber. It is an epitome of the traditional Chinese wedding. But in modern wedding ceremony, the whole process of wedding is guided by the master of the wedding ceremony. At first, the master will invite the groom’s parent or some one who is important to the new couple to have a brief talk. And then, the bride and groom go to the stage. With the bride and groom entering, the master will have a short introduction about the bride and the groom. After introducing, there are also three bows, but the first one for the guest, the second one for their parents, and the last one for each other. At last, the bride and the groom will exchange ring with each other.

Compared to the eastern wedding ceremony, wedding ceremonies in western countries always seem to be more romantic and solemn. Generally, the wedding ceremony will be held in a church and hosted by a priest so that they can get the approval and blessing from God. On that day, the bride arrives at the church companied by her father, holding some white flowers and wearing her wedding gown and veil. The bridegroom is in black suit, standing by the priest and waiting his bride. With the soft music called Wedding chorus playing on, the bride enters the church slowly on the arm of her father. Then the father puts the bride’s hand on the lucky man’s, and then the priest will announce the marriage statement. Under the witness of the priest, the bride and the groom will exchange rings with each other, and make a solemn promise to each other. After the bride and groom say “yes, I do”, the priest will tell them to change their rings and the groom may kiss his bride. And then the priest proclaims them to be husband and wife and gives them blessing. Then the music changes to bright melody called Wedding Overture. Then, the bride and the groom will walk-off with background music.

By comparing, it is easy to find that traditional Chinese wedding ceremony now take in some western wedding customs.

2.2.2 Banquets

Wedding banquet, which is also known as wedding feast, is an important component of wedding ceremony. The grand feast is held in the wedding day to thank their relatives and friends. During the course of wedding banquet, the groom’s parents, the host of wedding ceremony, would make arrangement for "big guest" and the matchmaker would also be given a seat for respect. (Wu Cunhao, 2005: 56) The best arrangement is to make people of the same sex and age sit in one table. For it can enhance the wedding atmosphere. At this point, the bride does not rush for changing the dress, instead she should wait until the first dish is served. The bride and groom turn to toast to each guest according to the table time. It should be noted that the bride and groom"s closest peers should be arranged in the last two tables. Wedding banquet can also be viewed as the symbol of the new couple will have a happy life. What’s more, the richer the dishes are, the happier the newlyweds will be.

As to the western banquet, things are quite different. Here, a variety of rich food is served at a reception. The type of food depends on the local cultural tradition of the bride and groom’s hometown. Taking American as an example, it is common that the wedding account is charged by bride"s family. There is a wedding cake with many layers standing in the corner at the reception. According to the traditional custom, the bride and groom will cut the cake with a knife together. It was said in the past, the cake should cut by the groom since the man is taking the leading role in the family. But things are different now, the bride can also have the right to make decisions in daily live. After cutting the wedding cake, the bride sits in a chair in the middle of the room, and the guest toasts to the newlyweds with best wishes. The whole banquet is full of happiness.

Wedding banquet is full of local characteristics. Now Chinese wedding banquet also borrow some customs from the western banquet, such as cutting the wedding cake, drinking red wine in the wedding banquet, and so on.

2.3 Post-wedding

After the wedding feast, it is a tradition to disturb the nuptial chamber. It is said that the more boisterous the wedding night is, the happier their life will be. However, the western prefer to the peace and quiet wedding night. Disturbing the nuptial in Chinese wedding is viewed as the first time to challenge the new couple’s cooperation, while honeymoon in western countries is full of romance and happiness.

2.3.1Disturbing the nuptial

As is known, disturb the nuptial chamber is very interesting. In the wedding night, the good friends, relatives of the groom may come into the new couple’s house and play jokes on the newlyweds, especially on the bride. It is a common sense to Chinese people that the more seriously the new couple is disturbed, the happier the new couple will be in their life. Therefore the newlyweds’ close friends and their families play jokes on the newlyweds. For example, they may keep the bridegroom outside the door, and ask the bride some privacy questions. The bridegroom can be in the door only on the condition that the bride can give the right answer. No matter how seriously they were made fun of, the new couple can’t get angry. The bride and the bridegroom can have a rest until their friends and relatives left. This custom has a history of nearly about one thousand years. However, people in that time do this not only to make fun of the bridegroom but also of the bridegroom’s father. There is also a tradition that the parents will put some candies on their bed, especially the jujubes, peanuts, longan and sunflower seeds for good wishes that the new couple may have a strong and healthy child soon.

2.3.2 Going back to the Bride’s Three Days Later

According to Chinese traditional wedding custom, on the third day after the new couple’s marriage, the bride must go back to see her parents companied by her husband with some gifts. There, they worshiped the bride’s ancestors. The new couple could stay here for a period of time before they return to their own home. Even though the marriage custom has changed a lot, this conventional behavior has never changed. Although the daughter is married, she shouldn’t forget her own parents who gave her birth and brought her up. So going back to the bride’s could express their thanks to the bride’s parents. This is a humanistic rule for that the bride can go back to talk about her new life with her parents and learn some household affairs from them.

2.3.3 Honeymoon

In Western culture, the custom of a newlywed couple going on a holiday together to spend their first month after their wedding. It is said that the new couple of Ireland from wedding night must drink a sort of wine which was made of honey for one month. People hopes the new couple will have a happy married for the bee is the symbol of unity and hardworking. (Linell, 1999: 47) Then the first month after the wedding is gradually named as honeymoon. But the meaning of honeymoon is quiet different from modern one. Till 19th century, people in the Indian elite, in the Indian Subcontinent, the newlyweds in western countries would take a "bridal tour", sometimes accompanied by friends or family, to visit relatives that had not been able to attend the wedding. Borrowed from this concept, the modern honeymoon gradually came into being. Honeymoon now is a vacation that the new couple spend together to celebrate their new wedding.

3. Reasons for the Phenomena

As to the reasons of these differences, there are many recognized explanations. In different historical and cultural background, different outlooks of value are reflected in love and marriage concept, and a set of contradictory values which shared by China and western countries and reflected as collectivism and individualism. This article will discuss the cause of these differences form the following aspects.

3.1 The influence of historical and cultural background

As is known to all, China has a long history of feudalism system. Chinese people have been accustomed to following suit with the custom of feudal society. Under such circumstance, Chinese traditional weddings are influenced deeply. There is a Chinese saying that of all who lack filial piety, the worst is who has no children. To the young, it was their obligation to get married. The main ideology of marriage was to conform to their parents’ commendation and obey to the matchmaker’s arrangement. And the wedding customs are characterized by patriarchal clan system. So the traditional culture can be seen everywhere in wedding ceremony.

On the contrary, the western countries, the different course of development and relatively new culture definitely have deep influences on their wedding customs. Under the guidance of God, most westerners think both men and women are all God’s offspring. The western has freer thinking patterns and less bounded personal characteristics than Chinese. What’s more, in western countries both men and women pursue the equal family status. But Chinese weddings pay more attention to men’s status.

Affected by different histories and cultural backgrounds, Chinese people are conservative and old-fashioned, while the western are open-minded and independent. Chinese people prefer the sense of bustle and excitement to the solemn and romantic wedding in western countries. And these two typical characters can be fully manifested in the wedding customs. So in China, many friends and relatives are invited to help intensify the atmosphere of lively merry-making while Americans hold a simple and romantic wedding in the church with fewer friends and relatives.

3.2 The influence of collectivism and individualism

Collectivism and individualism are important components of value system. Different attitudes toward collectivism and individualism undoubtedly contribute to the differences of Chinese wedding customs and western wedding customs. Chinese hold collective values while the western take individualism more. When there are conflicts between the individualism and collectivism, Chinese people may give up individualism to protect the collectivism, while the western think highly of individualism.

As Li Guimei and Yu Fangqing interpreted in The Difference between the Eastern and Western Culture and Intercultural Communication, (Li Guimei, 2006: 46) it can be shown obviously by the fact that marriage in the ancient time was regarded as the principal matter of family, instead of a personal business. The main purpose of marriage was to inherit family bloodline, in order to insure prosperity of the family and to improve the family fame and position. So the young generations’ marriages were closely connected with the destiny of their family. Taking family benefits into consideration, Chinese people had to submit to the arrangement of their family instead of following their own feelings. The value of self-sacrifice put the benefit of the group above the individual.

On the contrary, the western people think more highly of individual values. Take America as an example, the development of the country teaches American that competition is the only way to exist. The national characteristic also trains American people to pursue personal development and gain individual benefits, and their own benefits and freedom must be controlled by themselves. So people in American prefer to make decisions by themselves, and they live much more freely than Chinese. As to marriage, they choose their life mate on the basis of their own feelings instead of the whole family’s benefit or family’s reputation. Affected by the Christianity, the western hold the view that both man and woman are God’s offspring, and they all have the same rights. Their religion faith emphasized that they are equal in human right. Both of them have the same right to pursue the freedom of marriage and their true love.

3.3 The influence of different love and marriage concepts

In China, marriage is not only a personal thing but also a thing of the whole family. Under the influence of feudal thoughts, laws and disciplines are emphasized much more than anything else. There is no doubt that true love is wonderful, but when their true love has contract with the filial piety and fraternal duty, Chinese people often choose the latter one. In ancient China, the young had no right to decide their own marriage. Their parents tended to choose the daughter-in-law or son-in-law from the family of the same social rank. For the most part, the two families of equal rank was the most important factor in a good marriage. In the ancient society, the main purpose of Chinese marriage was to continue the family bloodline. That’s why the new couple should go through some certain procedures and etiquettes during the wedding progress. The new couple needs to obtain recognition from their family and society.

Chinese people hold the view that getting married is their obligation, while to the west thought, it is their personal right to get married or not and marriage is not a duty, let alone a formality. Even when the male and female reach the legal ages to get married, their parents or anyone else have no rights to interfere in this issue. To most western, love can be one of the most important factors in choosing a mate. Therefore, the pursuit of true love can be viewed as one of the most important life goals. But their true love concept can also lead to the high devoice rate. The western has never doubted the existence of true love, even if they are married. They would divorce with no hesitation as long as they meet another true love. They believe that they will find their true love sooner or later. A typical American wedding takes place when people have sought out a partner and have found someone whom they believe they can share their life．That is to say，in most western countries, marriages are based on love instead of been arranged by their parents．

With the development of society, the young generation of China is no longer subjected to the Chinese federal thinking. More and more people are eager to pursue their true love. Their marriage is mainly based on love which involves similar personality, same hobbies, agreement on the value of life, etc. Accordingly, they will care less about of the needs of family. Hence some cockamamie processes will be abbreviated during wedding.

4. Conclusion

To sum up, it can conclude that the wedding customs between China and the western countries are different. According to the paper, the diversity of wedding customs is mainly referred to the proposal, wedding ceremony, wedding dress and wedding reception, etc. All these differences are attributed to the distinctive historical and cultural backgrounds, values, and love and marriage concepts. In the age of information and communication, the collision and fusion of diversity of wedding customs are the result of the development of modern society. The differences and fusion in Chinese and western countries wedding customs reflects the development trend of human being. In addition, it is significant for people to understand, acknowledge and treat the differences of culture. Inheriting the traditional cultures and learning the foreign cultures can help people take best use of advantages and bypass the disadvantages.

Works Cited

[1]Angelis, Katharina. Secrets About Wedding Every Woman Should Know. Beijing: Zhongxin Press, 2003.

[2]Carnegie, Bancroft. Wedding culture in America. Beijing: Democracy and Construction Press, 2005.

[3]Collins, Benedict. The Woman in Wedding. Beijing: Foreign Language Teaching and Researching Press, 2006.

[4]JiaYuxin. Intercultural Communication Research. Shanghai: Foreign Language Education Press, 1998.

[5]Linell, George. Doing Culture: Cross-Cultural Communication in Action. Shanghai: Foreign Language Teaching and Research Press, 1999.

[6]Ma Xiaona. The Difference Between the Eastern and Western Culture and Intercultural

Communication. Oxford: Blackwell, 2009.

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