论文总字数：36483字

摘 要

婚俗，作为文化的重要组成部分，各国皆有所不同。众所周知，中英婚俗存在诸多差异。作者通过分析中英婚俗，发现，中国是一个文明古国，有特殊的婚俗礼仪文化，英国的婚俗也有其特色，与中国婚俗的差异表现在婚礼过程，礼服，仪式等诸多方面，中英对待婚姻的价值观念也有所不同。通过学习，可以是人们从诸多方面对中英两国的历史及文化背景有所了解，达到学习语言和了解价值观的目的,进而更好地与西方国家进行国际交流。

关键词：中国；英国；婚礼；不同

Contents

1. Introduction......................................................................................................1
2. Literature Review............................................................................................1

3.The Differences between Chinese and British Marriage Customs..............2

3.1 Procedure........................................................................................................2

3.2Dressing...........................................................................................................4

3.3Wedding ceremony...........................................................................................5

4.An analysis of Reasons for the Differences....................................................7

4.1History.............................................................................................................7

4.2Religion............................................................................................................8

4.3 Value ...............................................................................................................9

1.  Fusion and future trend of Chinese and Britain wedding customs.........11 

5.1.1 The wedding decorations...........................................................................11

5.1.2 The wedding gown ...................................................................................12

5.2  The future trend of wedding ......................................................................126.Conclusion......................................................................................................13Works cited........................................................................................................14

1. Introduction

As we know, people of different countries have different communicating habits due to the different culture background. Since policy of reform and opening-up were put into effort, Chinese people have more opportunity to contact with people from British.As a result, communicating with people from different cultural backgrounds has become a must. Therefore,the study that looks at how people from different cultural backgrounds communicate, in similar and different ways among themselves, which is known as Intercultural Communication, has sprung up in the academic fields. Among the different field of researches, some scholars are interested in the study of the comparison of eastern and British marriage culture as more and more Chinese people are experiencing transnational marriages. Generally speaking, British people appear more open, enthusiastic and extrovert.In British countries, people get married because they love each other and are happy to live together. However, in China, some people getting married may be out of money or social status or simply because of being attracted by appearance. Some Chinese women marry foreigners and feel proud of it. Some even consider it a fashion to have transnational marriage. Recently released National Civil Affairs statistics show that China’s divorce rate has increased for seven consecutive years and transnational marriage is no exception. So no matter for what reason do we marry a foreigner, in order to maintain a harmonious life, we had better learn something about the different marriage culture between different countries.

2. Literature Review

Belonging to culture and customs factors, marriage is one of important parts that influence the effects of intercultural communication. M Tammy J has found that the marriage customs of the world was a kind of encyclopedia, which shows the significance of the research of traditional and modern wedding customs .G Monger’s book Marriage Customs of the World: From Henna to Honeymoons ,also made a detailed comparison of the different marriage culture in order to study the cultural difference, which is of great meaning for language learners, and the more we learn about their culture, the better we learn their language. Learning their family and marriage style can help us a lot in learning the life of British, hence help us in the international communication of people from western countries.

Chinese scholars, like Xu Zhulin, Sun Wenzhong and so on, whose data analysis and quantitative study also have confirmed that study the cultural difference is of great meaning for language learners, and the more we learn about their culture, the better we learn their language.

3.The differences between Chinese and British marriage customs

3.1 Procedure

China is a vast country with various marriage customs in different areas. But in general Chinese people follow basic step of Three Letter:Request Letter ,Gift Letter and Wedding Letter. Six procedures in traditional marriage, namely, proposing, asking the name, asking for fortune, sending betrothal present to girl’s family, discussing date of marriage and meeting the bride.

Request Letter confirms the formal arrangement of a marriage. It is sent by the groom’s family to the bride’s family. This letter is normally presented with the initial gifts for the bride’s family. Gift Letter accompanies the formal gifts for the Bride’s family. It is actually a gift list that records the description and quantity of the gifts. Wedding Letter is presented to the bride’s family on the day of the wedding. It confirms the act of bringing the bride into the groom’s family. In the old days, marriages were arranged by the parents. When the groom’s parents found a potential daughter-in-law, they will hire a matchmaker , a spokeswoman, who will communicate their wish to the potential bride’s family. (The matchmaker is usually an elderly woman who acts as midwives or spokeswoman for the groom’s family).This lady will persuade the potential bride’s family to accept the offer from the groom’s family. Both sides will negotiate certain terms like the“Bride’s price”. If the proposing was accepted by the girl’s parent, the next process is birthday matching. Birthday matching means that asking for girl’s name and birth dates. The family of the groom will ask for the bride’s birthday.They would ask a fortune teller to predict whether that could match their son’s and whether there would be a happy marriage. The Chinese zodiac would be surely taken into consideration.If the match was predicted to be auspicious, the matchmaker would take gifts to the girl’s parents and tell them that the process could continue.This was the grandest etiquette of the whole process of engagement. Prolific gifts were presented again to the girl’s family, symbolizing respect and kindness towards the girl’s family as well as the capability of providing a good life for the girl.Selecting the Wedding Date is that the boy’s family asked the fortune-teller to choose a date according to the astrological book when it would be proper and propitious to hold the wedding ceremony.

Compared with Chinese marriage, British marriage is simpler and there are a few standard customs acknowledged as being traditional:proposal,engagement, choosing the day and holding the wedding.Marriage is usually initiated by a proposal of marriage, simply called "a proposal". In a heterosexual relationship, the man traditionally proposes to the woman and the actual proposal often has a ritual quality, involving the presentation of a ring (an engagement ring) and the formalized asking of a question such as "Will you marry me?" The man may even go down on one knee before proposing. If the proposal is accepted, the couple become engaged.In the United Kingdom, the engagement ring is worn, by the woman, on the third finger of the left hand (the ring finger).In the UK the 29th of February (in a leap year) is said to be the one day (coming round only once every four years) when a woman can propose to her partner.

It is usual for a couple to be engaged for a while before they get married. An engagement is actually an agreement or promise to marry, and also refers to the time between proposal and marriage. During this period, a couple is said to be affianced, engaged to be married, or simply engaged.A man who is engaged to be married is called his partner"s fiancé; a woman similarly engaged is called her partner"s fiancée.Once a wedding date has been set the banns of marriage, commonly known simply as "the banns" (from an Old English word meaning "to summon") are announced. This is a notice,usually placed in the local parish church or register office, which tells everyone that a marriage is going to take place between two people.The purpose of banns is to enable anyone to raise any legal problems as to why the two people shouldn"t get married, basically it is to prevent marriages that are legally invalid. Impediments vary between legal jurisdictions, but would normally include a pre-existing marriage (having been neither dissolved nor annulled), a vow of celibacy, lack of consent, or the couple"s being related within the prohibited degrees of kinship.In England, a marriage is only legally valid if the reading of the banns has taken place or a marriage licence has been obtained.

3.2 Dressing

In China, the groom is traditionally dressed in a long gown, red shoes and red silk sash with a red silk ball in the shape of flower on his chest. The bride is also in red with her head covered in red veil. The white wedding gown is the most popular dressing among British people. However, the British custom of a bride wearing a white wedding dress, came to symbolize purity in the Victorian era (despite popular misconception and the hackneyed jokes of situation comedies, the white dress did not indicate virginity, this was symbolized by a face veil). In the past the veil was worn to confuse any evil spirits.Often the bride will wear an heirloom, or maybe carry a family bible or prayer book, the dress of course is usually the something new, and they will borrow something from someone to wear. The something blue can be difficult, but a lot of brides get round this by wearing a blue garter under their dress.Within the "white wedding" tradition, a white dress and veil would not have been considered appropriate in the second or third wedding of a widow or divorcee. Nowadays it really isn"t an issue.Before the white wedding dress became "traditional", an old poem (which seems to favor blue) sang the praises or woes of various color choices.

“Married in white, you will have chosen all right. Married in grey, you will go far away. Married in black, you will wish yourself back. Married in red, you’ll wish yourself dead. Married in blue, you will always be true.Married in pearl, you’ll live in a whirl.Married in green, ashamed to be seen,Married in yellow, ashamed of the fellow. Married in brown, you’ll live out of town. Married in pink, your spirits will sink.In the Middle Ages, bridesmaids used to wear the same outift as the bride. This was to confuse any evil spirits who wished the bride harm. Nowadays they are more likely to be dressed in such a way as to scare any evil spirits away, after all no bride wants to be outshone on the big day.

3.3Wedding ceremony

In China,the first procedure is to greet the bride. No matter in city or rural areas, the tradition of greeting the bride is kept as an important step of the wedding. Actually, the formal wedding ceremony begins with“greeting the bride”. The procedure of greeting the bride contains three steps. First, the male side organizes a group of close friends and relatives to accompany the groom to greet the bride. Second, certain etiquette should be performed when the greeting group arrives.Before the bride setting off, the groom should serve tea to the bride’s parents and begin to call them as“Dad”and“Mom”. The bride’s parents will give the groom a“red paper for changing address”.Third, the female family welcomes the bride. When the bride is sent to the groom’s family, the male side has to welcome her with touching the floor after getting off the car. Since the bride touching the floor is considered unlucky. Second, perform the formal wedding ceremony. When the bride is led to the living room, the formal wedding ceremony will be performed after a short break. Along with the time’s developing, the rites have been simplified and only the main procedures of bride’s serving tea to the groom’s parents and bow to them are remained. Third, tease the bride (and groom).

Teasing the bride is a tradition in most areas of our country. At the wedding night, the people will have fun at the new couple’s bedroom. night since it was the first day of their together living. The games in the bedroom could no doubt help the new couple in eliminating the shyness. Nowadays the purpose of the games is mainly to send wishes to the new couple. Fourth, visit the bride’s family. Traditionally, on the third day after the wedding, the bride and groom should first greet their parents, and they all call each other with the changed addresses. All people are required to perform friendly and kind. The new couple should also be polite to the relatives and neighbors. Before leaving, the new couple should initiatively invite the bride’s family to visit their family and all the wedding ceremony ends till now.In Britain,a bride"s wedding day is often touted as "the happiest day of her life", but in all honesty it"s often a very stressful experience as there are lots of conventions surrounding the whole thing and you can get caught up in family rows, and trying to please everyone. Still it"s a good test of a couple"s fortitude.When the guests arrive for a wedding the ushers" duty is to hand out the correct books, flowers and the order of service, they also ensure the guests are seated in the correct places. Traditionally, the side on which people sit depends on whether they are friends or family of the bride or of the groom. The front rows are generally reserved for close family or friends, with the very first seats reserved for the bridal party. However, in many ceremonies the bridal party will remain standing at the altar during the ceremony along with the bride and groom.The groom and his best man wait inside the church for the arrival of the bride and her "entourage".This entourage generally arrives in elegant cars or in horse-drawn coaches, specially hired for the occasion. The bride"s entourage normally consists of the bride, the bride"s father and all the various bridesmaids, maids of honor, sometimes flower girls and page boys attend her. The page boy"s task is often to carry the wedding rings on a cushion.The ushers and/or groomsmen escort the grandparents of the bride and groom to their seats. The ushers and/or groomsmen escort the mother of the groom and mother of the bride to their seats. The bridesmaids enter, escorted by the groomsmen. The maid or matron of honor enters, either by herself or escorted by the best man. The ring bearer or page boy enters. 
The flower girl enters. (In some ceremonies, the ring bearer will accompany the flower girl.) The bride then proceeds down the aisle, escorted by her father, to the accompaniment of music (usually the wedding march, often called "Here comes the bride"), and the ceremony starts.During the ceremony the bride and groom make their marriage vows. Marriage vows are promises a couple makes to each other during a wedding ceremony. In British culture, these promises have traditionally included the notions of affection ("love, comfort, keep"), faithfulness ("forsaking all others"), unconditionality ("for richer or for poorer", "in sickness and in health"), and permanence ("as long as we both shall live", "until death do us part").Most wedding vows are taken from traditional religious ceremonies, but nowadays in the UK many couples choose touching love poems or lyrics from a love song revised as wedding vows and some couples even choose to write their own vows, rather than relying on standard ones spoken by the celebrant (registrar, priest or vicar).After the vows have been spoken the couple exchange rings. The wedding ring is placed on the third finger of the left hand, also called the "ring" finger. The wedding ring is usually a plain gold ring. I was once told that the third finger was chosen because in the past people believed a vein ran from that finger, straight to the heart - modern anatomy books have put paid to that theory though.After the wedding ceremony, the bride, groom, officiant, and two witnesses generally go off to a side room to sign the wedding register. Without this the marriage is not legal and a wedding certificate cannot be issued.Afterward, guests file out to throw flower petals, confetti, birdseed, or rice (uncooked for obvious reasons) over the newly-married couple for good luck.The bride stands with her back to all the guests and throws her bouquet over her head to them. Whoever catches the bouquet is the next person to get married. I don"t know if this has ever been scientifically tested, but it can result in a very unseemly scramble, reminiscent of rugby scrums.Finally, a photo session ensues of the couple leaving the church, and everyone has to stand around to form formal groups for the photo album. A lot of people video the whole thing, which can be good for a laugh.

4. An Analysis of Reasons for the Differences

4.1 History

History and social system are the basic reasons for most cultural differences, and marriage style makes no difference. Take China and Britain as examples, the two countries have great differences in their history, which makes the most deep-rooted reasons for most cultural differences.In the feudalism system of ancient China,the country was in an isolated geographic structure, which led to the isolation state of ancient Chinese civilization. China was isolated from the other parts of the world by rivers and seas. According to some scholars, the Great Wall was built for political and military purpose, but at the same time, it had isolated the Chinese civilization from the rest world, hence made the special characteristics of ancient Chinese culture or even has great influence on the modern Chinese culture.

British has most of its system transformed of inherited from European countries. British marriage, therefore, has the characteristics of most west European capitalism countries, which characterized British marriage to be one that has no burden of feudalism as Chinese do.In contrast, China is a country that has a history of thousands of years. It has experienced feudalism, capitalism, semi-colonial and semi-feudalism and now the socialism system, all of which has had deep influence on Chinese culture, including marriage style. China has undergone the long history of feudalism which formed a set of tradition which is impossible to be changed in a short period. Chinese are more conservative in this aspect. Fewer Chinese couples live together outside marriage, and childbearing outside marriage is extremely rare. Marriage is generally viewed by Chinese as a permanent arrangement, and divorce rates, although rising, are still low in China. The traditional families are strongly male-dominated. A woman leaves her parents at marriage and often lives with her husband’s parents if he is a first son. Women traditionally have little independence within the family, at least until they are past their childbearing years. And now China is making some radical changes in the social and political systems which enable women to enjoy a great deal more autonomy they did in the past.

4.2Religion

In China, the traditional moral and religious beliefs are always the most important cornerstone of marriage and stable family. The most popular religion in China is Buddhism whose teachings greatly influence people’s thought. This is reflected in Chinese wedding customs. The Buddhism teaches the common people to enjoy a reasonable arrangement of a good secular life, and to be good people, which is the reason of they preparing something that represents fortune and happiness. For example, they prepare things for the wedding in pairs, and they decorate the whole wedding with red items that means goodness. Therefore Chinese people pay much attention to the etiquettes at the wedding, they stress much and they have many taboos.The Buddhism also tells people to respect the heaven, the earth, the King, their parents and the persons who teach them, that’s why Chinese people must bow down before them at the wedding ceremony. At the same time, religion is the barometer of the society, which is the most important spiritual resources to uphold the social justice. It teaches people how to be a good wife or husband, how they should respect their elders and grow their kids, and the way of making a harmony marriage. Thus, Chinese people always treat marriage as one of the most important things in one’s life, and they can keep a steady family.

Among all the religions which people seek to worship, Christianity is by far the most influential in the west, which affects every aspect of people’s life. Since marriage was stipulated as law by church, British marriage customs have been in relation with religion. Christianity is by far the most influential religion in the west. In Bible, the Christians have two views:first,marriage is sacred, because marriage is created by God, secondly, marriage should insist on the principle of monogamy,which explains why God created Eve for Adam. Because of the sanctity of marriage, people are required to take monogamy and the Christians do not advocate divorce. Christians traditionally believe that the premise of divorce is one of the couple committed the crimes of lascivious or one leave voluntarily for different believes, mentioned in the Bible.10 From this we can understand why the bride and the bridegroom make a lifetime promise to each other with a diamond ring, and how much they pay attention to the quality of the marriage.

4.3 Value

Confucianism is the most influential philosophy in ancient China. Under the influence of it Chinese people are very conservative and old-fashioned. In ancient china “men and women are not allowed to get close to each other”is very popular. So matchmakers become the distinctive culture in ancient China. In addition,etiquette is attached much importance in ancient China.Only when the combination of a man and woman abides by certain etiquette can it be accepted by society. Marriage customs in the west are much simpler than in China. Wedding in ancient Britain was just the celebration within family until 1706 when the Winchester Council stipulated marriage should get the blessing from priests. Wedding ceremony has begun to be held in church since 13th century.

Chinese attitude towards marriage is from the ethic basis: Marriage is of divine significance in the Chinese traditions, since it is considered as the manifestation of the copulate of the sky (male) and the earth (female). The five main relationships to the Chinese are the relationships between the king and the officials, the father and the sons, the wife and the husband,the brothers, the friends. ancient people regarded the relationship of“couple”as the top of the five main relationships and advocated that a virtuous wife was most important for a man. It indicated the traditional view that the marriage was the foundation of the ethic relationships. “The orders of the parents and the words of the introducers”:In order to harmonize the relationship between men and women and prevent adultery, the rulers had to advocate the people with the ideas of rites. The purpose of marriage was to carry on the family tie. The marriage could be beneficial to maintain the family line. So when the ancient people mentioned their marriage, they would sum up it with“the orders of the parents and the words of the “introducers”.

While British ethic marriage views have developed from the ancient Greek and the Hebrew Christian cultures to the modern views of free love and marriage. The British marriages are the manifestation of the individual wills and the development of the human nature and controlled by the natural trend and free choice. Having making promise and working hard for the family and mutual future,the men and women will make contributions to the carrying on of the human beings and the bettering of life.Also,The traditional Chinese families are quite different from British ones. The size of the family is different. In the thousands years of Chinese history, China had been ruled by the monarchy system in which the regnant class had been composed of certain families.Therefore, family had been formed as a system in which the relationship among families was emphasized in order to strengthen the power of the family. The history was so long that the definition has been deep-rooted in all Chinese people, which is the most important reason why Chinese take pride in their large family. Nowadays in rural areas, this kind of idea is emphasized by Chinese people, and they think they will have most influence in the village if their families are larger. When Chinese get married, many of them will live together with their parents, sometimes even their grandparents. In the past or even now, some Chinese families even take pride in having four generations under the same roof for this kind of family style offers them more love, care, warmth or more. Because the need for larger population to make a strong country and larger family to make the family strong, the ancient China even made the law to force young people to get married as early as possible. In Tang Dynasty, the law claimed that young females should get married before15, and males 20. If they failed to marry at that age, the government would choose one for them without their personal choice. So, early marriage was another feature of ancient China. Now with the development of society, the condition has been changed. After the liberation, the new government ruled the earliest marriage age, and early marriage is forbidden. Late marriage is advocated as a need to control population and solve other social problems related to early marriage. Now, as women accept more education and have their own career, they tend to marry late.

It is quiet different in Britain. British advocate freedom and independence, they like the family of small size, so that they can have their privacy and their individual space. Most of them live in the families of parents-and-child style. As to the first marriage age of British between1960 and 1997, the first marry age rose from 22.8 to 26.8 for men and 20.3 to 25.0 for women. When they get married, British will move away from their parents’ home and live independently. Then they will have their own children, and then when their children get married, the children will move out of the family too, therefore, they will live alone again. For Chinese, this is unacceptable, for they think this is a kind of indifference among family members.

5. Fusion and future trend of Chinese and Britain wedding customs  

With the rapidly development of economy and the improvement of international communication, the different cultures between China and Britain are collided and fused under the global integration environment. The cultural integration is the inevitable outcome of the cultural development. The evolution of the wedding customs is the necessity of historical development, which reflects the  development of human society. 

5.1 The fusion of wedding customs 

The wedding customs are one of the parts of cultural encyclopedia in different traditional cultures and historical backgrounds between China and Britain. It is well known that China is a country with extensive cultures of 5,000 years history. Compared with Chinese wedding customs, Britain wedding customs are changing with the enhancing of society. With the development of society and frequent intercultural communication, the Chinese wedding in Western style and Western wedding in Chinese style are more and more popular with people. It is not hard to see that the forms of wedding are changing and fusing. The fusion of wedding customs reflects the  the abundance of wedding culture and the colliding and fusion of culture between China and Britain.

Because the exoticism and romantic wedding, many Chinese people appreciate the Western wedding style and like to hold a Western wedding ceremony in the modern society. However, some western foreign people are interested in Chinese culture and wedding ceremony in Chinese style. Sometimes the groom in Western takes the bride by bridal sedan in wedding day on account of the mystical and traditional wedding which has thousands of years of history and culture in China. Following are two aspects of the fusion of wedding customs.

5.1.1 The wedding decorations 

The Chinese wedding is increasingly popular in the world. Some foreigners hold the wedding ceremony in Chinese style in China. It is a normal phenomenon that a foreign groom brings his bride by the Wedding Sedan. Although the wedding decorations are Western style, some of them indicate the Chinese element in their wedding. The wedding decorations combine with the mysterious, natural and exquisite feature of orient and express the comfortable feeling in the wedding ceremony, thus the participants of party can relax themselves. For example, the wedding invitations with Chinese calligraphy are used in Western wedding.    

5.1.2 The wedding gown 

Nowadays bride usually has two sets of dress of wedding gown in the wedding day. In generally, the first wedding dress is white bridal veil which can show the bride pure and elegant. In the wedding reception, the bride wore the second wedding dress when she proposed a toast to the guests. This second wedding gown is red cheongsam. Many people know that the atmosphere of wedding ceremony differs from the wedding reception. The white bridal veil suits the sacred wedding while the red wedding gown is appropriate for the wedding reception. Those about wedding gown indicate the fusion of the Chinese and Western wedding customs.  

 5.2 The future trend of wedding 

    Nowadays, the modern wedding is increasingly developing all around the world. Comparing with the ancient times, some of the complex wedding ceremonies have been discarded and the new wedding forms have produced. With the communication of the cultures, people learn some foreign cultures and use the Western elements in wedding. However, their traditional customs will be retained. It is obviously that people pay attention to the cultural charm, but also pursues the romantic atmosphere. The fusion of different culture makes the modern wedding characteristic.  

According to the modern wedding characteristics, we can forecast the wedding development trend. On one hand, with the frequent communication between counties, wedding customs will constantly merge, and various forms will coexist in a wedding. In the future, people will pay more attention on the spiritual enjoyment, so they tend to hold a wonderful wedding under the multicultural atmosphere. On the other hand, personalized wedding is another main trend in the future. The various lifestyles are making contemporary young people’s wedding idea develop in the direction of convenient, simple, romantic and personalized. A lot of people will try to apply their creativity and imagination to hold an inexpensive, elegant, individual and well-appreciated wedding.

6. Conclusion

Each custom in marriage has its own cultural sources. Due to different geography, history, social system , religions and values, Chinese marriage customs and British marriage customs vary obviously. The wedding ceremony reflects the collision between the Chinese and the British cultures. We should actively participate in the cultural exchange, establish mutual trust and change our attitude towards learning and adapt to the culture from other countries, avoid cultural  superiority of self cultures. When we receive the culture of other countries, we should  overcome our own cultural pattern, understand and accept trading rules, mode of thinking and values.Due to the different races and places, there are some differences in the thoughts and  behaviors between Chinese and Western countries. It is also necessary for us to have  cross-cultural awareness to understand and recognize the differences of culture deeply and treat the differences correctly. In intercultural communication, we should understand the culture, overcome the interference and strengthen the cross-cultural awareness.

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