论文总字数：26205字

摘 要

家庭是社会最基本的组成单位，家庭成员的行为和生活方式往往影响着家庭观的形成。当家庭观念得到普遍认同之后，它逐渐变成了社会价值体系的雏形。这些民族价值在某种程度上象征着国家的形象。中国家庭与美国家庭持有许多不同的家庭价值观。在跨文化背景下对中美家庭的婚姻观，财富观以及家庭成员的关系进行对比可以消除中美之间的文化障碍。

本文以中美价值观研究的理论为基础，尝试对中美家庭价值观进行比较分析，中美家庭价值观差异在生活的很多方面都能体现。我们都知道中国人强调集体主义而美国人强调个人主义因此中国人和美国人在他们生活的许多方面体现着差异。本文将展示集体主义在中国人的生活方式当中的体现以及个人主义在美国人的生活方式当中的体现。从这个角度，本文将解释为什么中国人和美国人在生活的这三个方面持有如此多的不同态度。

本文的主要目的是让人们理解为什么中美两国人民有如此不同的价值观，这也能够消除中美文化之间的代沟，让中美两国人民彼此互相理解。

关键词：家庭价值观；差异；影响；集体主义；个人主义

Contents

1. Introduction 1

2. Literature Review 1

2.1 The definition of family values 2

2.2. The definition of collectivism 2

2.3 The definition of individualism 3

3. Differences between Chinese and American family values 3

3.1The values of Chinese family 4

3.2The values of American family 4

3.3 Reasons for the differences 5

4. Different Living Styles Influenced by Different Family Values 6

4.1Different relationships between family members 6

4.2Different attitudes towards family wealth 7

4.3 Different attitudes towards marriage 8

5. Conclusion 9

Works Cited 11

Introduction

Family is the most basic unit of the whole human society. It reflects the value of the society, its cultural characteristics and the unique function of a racial. People begin to know anything in the world and its culture by the environment they were born and grew up. Your behavior, your mind, even your language are acquired by families which are under wilder cultural backgrounds.

Family values are the core of cultural value researching work, and they have great influence on a person’s mind and behavior. So if we want to know the cultures of two different countries, it is very necessary for us to know their different family values. In the context, we will discuss family values from different angles.

This article compares and interprets two kinds of families from three aspects: attitudes towards marriage, attitudes towards family wealth and family member relationships.

Literature Review

We all know that the Americans emphasize on self-independence while the Chinese pay much attention to the whole family. Of course, not all Chinese people think so. Compared to China, children in America can enjoy more freedom than those in China. Their parents seldom intervene in their personal things and pay much attention to their exercises and abilities. They can deal with their personal things by themselves. Meanwhile, their family members just offer them some advice. This is the important point of American family freedom. In China, children often live together with their parents, even after they grow up, for the reason that Chinese people hope to have a more united family and closer relationship between family members. Thus Chinese people have totally difference in this living style with the American. Chinese people like to stay with their parents. They think that this living style can help them have more opportunities to know other family members. It can also help to shorten the gap between family members. From this living style, we can see that the Chinese pay much attention to the whole family instead of an individual person, and it is totally different from that of the American in this aspect.

Foreign family education has a long history, and the creation of pedagogy and psychology recent years has greatly accelerated family education theory in every country.

2.1 The definition of family values

Family values, sometimes referred to as familial values, are traditional or cultural values that pertain to the family"s structure, function, roles, beliefs, attitudes, and ideals.

Family values can be defined as personal attitudes, belief, viewpoint towards family things, and it is also a standard to make comments on the meaning or aim of a family or whether the family is an ideal one. It also influences a person’s handling with family lives and things related to a family.

Thus, only if things related to family member relationships, father and son relationships, husband and wife relationships and other viewpoints, attitudes and belief related to other family and marriage things, they all belong to family value.

2.2 The definition of collectivism

Collectivism is a cultural value that is characterized by emphasizing on cohesiveness among individuals and prioritization of the group over self. ‘Collectivism means greater emphasis on (a) the views, goals, and needs of in-group rather than oneself; (b)social norms and duty by the in-group rather than behavior to get pleasure; (c) beliefs shared with the in-group rather than beliefs that distinguish self from in-group and(d) great readiness to cooperate with in-group members’ (H.C.Triandis, 52)

It is proposed that an individual is attached to the society. The benefits of an individual should be subordinated to the benefits of a group, a nation, and a country. It is a mental thesis, a spirit. The highest standard of collectivism is that all behavior and words are subordinated to collective benefits of people of the whole group.

2.3 The definition of individualism

Individualism is the political philosophy, moral stance, social outlook, or ideology that emphasizes the moral worth of the individual. Torvik thinks that individualism is a mature and calm feeling. It is the individualism that makes every member of the group that distinguish from others.’(Glazer 265) Individualists promote the exercise of one"s goals and desires and so value independence and self-reliance and advocate that interests of the individual should achieve precedence over the state or a social group,  while opposing external interference upon one"s own interests by society or institutions such as the government.  

Individualism makes the individual its focus and so starts "with the fundamental premise that the human individual is of primary importance in the struggle for liberation."  Classical liberalism, existentialism, and anarchism are examples of movements that take the human individual as a central unit of analysis. Individualism thus involves "the right of the individual to freedom and self-realization".

It has also been used as a term denoting "The quality of being an individual; individuality" related to possessing "An individual characteristic; a quirk." Individualism is thus also associated with artistic and bohemian interests and lifestyles where there is a tendency towards self-creation and experimentation as opposed to tradition or popular mass opinions and behavior as so also with humanist philosophical positions and ethics.

3. Differences between Chinese and American family values

Chinese and American family values have many differences. It occurs in many aspects of our lives. It is known to us all, the American people emphasizes on individualism while the Chinese emphasizes on collectivism. Thus people from these two kinds of families hold totally different family values.

3.1 The values of Chinese family

In China, family is the small epitome of the society, the power of the parents as the master of a family is, to some extent, like the king of a country. ‘The first class we give to our children is the family system, is an obligation of social communication between people: self-respect, good manner, helping each other, the meaning of responsibility, it is clearly explained, that is to say, we should have the concept of being thankful to our parents for their nurturing, and we need to show respect to the old.’(Lin 161) Parents give birth to their children and then raise them up. Thus children should be filial to their parents and be obedient to their parents’ advice. Standard of filial piety is an important cultural value. Every child thinks that it is his or her obligation to support their parents. So parents and children are unfair essentially. Besides, big family is the ideal mode of traditional Chinese culture. Living together with many generations means the unity of a family, the happiness of a family, and the boom of a family. For that, family is considered as the basic cell of the society, harmony of a family is a necessity for the stability of the society. Thus, paying much attention to interpersonal and family harmony is rooted deeply in the sense of Chinese people. It is a reflection of collectivism in Chinese family.

In a family-based society, all social organizations see family as a center. The relationship between people and people is also expanded by the family relationship. “The ‘Filial piety’ principle created by Confucianism and the family value of filial results from this principle identifies the filial piety concept that maintains family blood and group feelings as the most universal ethical model and highest values. (Dong 45)

3.2 The values of American family

The structure of American family is usually small core family. It is often made up of three or four family members, which includes parents and one or two children. The family atmosphere is equity and freedom. The relationship between family members is independent. Parents don’t stand for authority and children don’t stand for obedience. Children need to make decisions since they were young and their parents will show respect to their children’s decisions. The Declaration of Independence says that all the people are born equally; they are born with holy rights including life, freedom and the pursuit of happiness.’(Huang 12) Except for mental independence, when they were young they needed to do housework to earn pocket money. In the family, one family member will not be superior to another for his or her sex, age, or social status. Equity is shown in many aspects. For example, before parents entering their children’s room, they need to knock at the door first. It is the premise that children can be in harmony with their parents. Core family mode and equal-and-independent atmosphere are the best presentation of the family values of American people.

The core of American family value is individualism, People in America admire and chase for personal values. They think that the power of an individual is enormous. Under the control of such family value, the American family values emphasize on personal benefits, and it imposes certain restrictions on individuals on the basis of guaranteeing personal benefits. So the relationship between family members has to be built on mutual respect.

3.3 Reasons for the differences

Chinese people are under deep influence of Confucianism in different levels of social units. Family is the basis of all social units and the most essential and basic component. Besides family or above family such as ‘race’, ‘country’, ‘world’ are all the expansion of family. Family is the pillar of the country. Family and country are united. So the family value that family things and country things cannot be separated is a very Chinese-style family value. And it makes Chinese people pay great attention to the construction of their families, the stability of family member relationships, and protection of family benefits.

American culture emphasizes on personal development and advocates independence of personality, Individualism is a universally recognized cultural value of American people. Born in 1803 as a philosopher named “Father of Civilization,” the writer Emerson built individualism ideas from the perspective of transcendentalism. He emphasizes on self- personality and independence. He thinks that people are the formation of divine and divine are the soul of people. Emerson’s individualism sets the Foundation of American personal culture view and influences the development of American methods and cultures. The attitudes towards parents in traditional American culture are totally different from those of Chinese culture. The nuclear family in America only includes husband, wife and their children. This stems from religious tradition. “In the biblical story, only Adam and Eve were first created by God. American people are greatly influenced by Christian. They also think that their children are the gifts given by god. So after the children become adults they don’t necessarily support their parents.”(Dong 45)

The United States is an immigrant country, and the immigrants came to the land of north America caring about their development. Meanwhile, in the wilderness of North America"s New World, they experienced a lot of the pain and loneliness of separation. The biggest hope of them is to get reunited with their family. But this kind of unfulfilled and hopeless hope made them get used to being separated from their families over time. Therefore, they have been indifferent to the kind of affection of the traditional family. New family concepts are coming into being gradually.

Thousands of years of feudalism in China have a long-term impact on Chinese family values. In feudal society, beside from the existence of the basic organization of individual life, family, there is also something above family. For example, families made up of multiple families of the same surname and the same ancestors. The existence of family means that two families within certain conditions and scope have some kind of horizontal connection. In contemporary society, the influence of feudal power still exists in some places.

4. Different Living Styles Influenced by Different Family Values

4.1 Different relationships between family members

In a Chinese family, parents always mean a kind of authority. As a ruler, they play an important role in the whole family. Children are always children in their parents’ eye. Parents’ guidance of children can persist for many years after the children grow up. In the family, the older can educate the young for sure. This creates an inequality in human relationships within the family. Thus, the children learned to say different words to different people. They know that parents are more important than friend and the older are the symbol of authority. Being exposed to this environment, children learn to live under multiple rules gradually.

In China, stable living styles are admired by many people. Many young people look forward to a stable job, for example, teacher, powerful family bond mode has been lasting for thousands of years. It is much more convenient for family members to live with their relatives. It also shows Chinese so-called ‘relationship society’ vividly. Even though it opens to the outside world after the performance of policy of reform and. The traditional living styles still have great influence. People are still willing to get closer to their family members, relatives, and friends.

However the situation is totally different in America, parents emphasize on equity and freedom. They showed great respect to their children since they were very young and emphasize on their children"s personal autonomy. They also make their children learn to make decisions and solve problems by themselves in conditions that society allows. They treat their child as an individual and treat equally. They also give their child respect and understanding that he or she should have. Children can express their viewpoints freely before their parents. Children have independent time and room for free imagination and creative activities. The family bond is not so powerful like that in China. Thus, there is more mobility in their lives. Meanwhile, their living styles are affected by their family values such as living on their owns, working hard and persistently. These factors all accelerate American people to go all around the world to look for their jobs and success.

4.2 Different attitudes towards family wealth

We all know that the founder of Facebook Zuckerberger is a very rich young man in America. He made his money from scratch. The famous rich young Chinese man Wang Sicong is also very rich. But different from Zuckerberger, the reason why Wang Sicong is so rich is that his father is the founder of a big Chinese real estate group-Wanda Group. From above we can find that Chinese people have different attitudes towards family wealth from that of American people. “In the end of 2003, they once conducted an economy research in Zhejiang province, among 312 companies, over two thirds are family groups, all of these family groups earned more than 10 million Yuan in 2002.’ In China, family members have mutual economy dependence, that is to say, all family members of a family should support each other, especially when one family member is faced with fiscal problems. It means family members have obligations to help their family members to come over fiscal crisis. In daily life, children have obligations to look after their parents who are getting older and older. Parents may be dependent on their children in economy aspects. However, it is totally different in America, and the economy relationship between family members is independent. American people appreciate individuality. It also needs them to be economy independent, fiscal free. That is to say, when they turn into adults, they don’t depend on their parents or other family members any more. Sometimes, American people think that it is a disgrace to get financial support from their parents or other family members. Meanwhile American people prefer freedom to wealth. ‘A survey conducted by an American company showed that only 13 percent of people take part in the survey think that becoming rich is the most meaningful thing, 67 percent of people think that the most meaningful thing is that they have enough time to do what they like. 43 percent of people think that it is important to become rich and 33 percent of people think that it is not so important to become rich (Qiao 125).

4.3 Different attitudes towards marriage

In Chinese family, most of the activities of family members need to be carried out around the collective interests of the family. In traditional Chinese methods, women have more responsibilities and obligations towards families, the attitudes of parents of two families may always decide their marriage. This is totally different from that of American people.

In terms of choosing a spouse, Chinese people see marriage as a business, they don’t care so much about true feeling ‘A survey about the quality of marriage conducted by Shanghai Academy of Social science in Shanghai shows that only one fourth of the subjects got married for the reason of love (Yun 65) They will consider the family background of his or her spouse. They think that marriage is not only the combination of two family members, but also the combination of two families and it is also related to the education of the next generation. Thus, once Chinese couples get married, it means that both husband and wife have the obligations to take the responsibilities of two families. They both own wealth after their marriage. Once they had a feeling that they hate each other, they often try their best to tolerate each other. Even though they are likely to lose affection for each other, they are still reluctant to keep the husband and wife relationship. They will be disturbed by their relatives and friends when they get divorced and they will also be blamed by the society. Chinese marriage presents collectivism as the core value. In behavior, personal benefits should be obedient to collective benefits.

However, it is opposite in American marriage values. ‘An American woman who was interviewed for her viewpoint on marriage once said marriage is just like a kind of form. It is not very important. What is important is feeling when two people are together. If the feeling is gone, then she thinks their relationship is like a burden.’(Dong 32) In American methods, they emphasis on individualism, they think that marriage is the thing between two people. They can get married when they have affection for each other and they needn’t care about the material conditions of each other let alone their family backgrounds and they can also get divorce if they don’t love each other. After they get married, they will not have shared wealth, because people in the USA pay more attention to self-independence. They emphasis on personal feelings and are not likely to keep a unhappy marriage.

Conclusion

Family is the carrier of society, and the values of family members decide their behavior and words in social communication. Their influences and effects are wild.

Chinese people do have many different family values from those of American families. They can be seen in many aspects of our lives. Chinese culture tends to be polymeric, family-oriented and collectivism, while American values are more discrete, focusing on liberalism and individualism. This kind of difference carries cultures and nationalities. Of course, with the development of globalization and modern civilization, traditional Chinese culture and American culture make a clash and the clash gets even harder. The cross-cultural communication is becoming more and more frequent. To minimize the cultural gap between Chinese and American culture, we need to understand the differences between Chinese and American family values from history factor and culture factor and so on. We cannot have the right which one is superior to another. We cannot make any bad comments on the other culture. We need to show mutual respect to different cultures. Nowadays, many international families emerge in our eyes, especially in big cities in China. This situation may also occurs to us. To minimize misunderstanding between each other, we should learn different cultural backgrounds. We need to make preparations for the understanding of a foreign culture. We can surf on the Internet or read some books about a foreign culture. We can make friends with a foreigner to learn a foreign culture, and even we can travel to a foreign country to learn a foreign culture and so on. We need to keep studying and have an open heart to different cultures.

Works Cited

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内森·格雷泽,《美国人的个人主义与平等》,南京；江苏人民出版社，(2006):265.

[Nathan Glazer,The Individualism and Equity of American People, Nanjing; Jangsu People’s Press,(2006)：265.]

林语堂，《吾国与吾民》北京：宝文堂出版，（1998）: 161.

[Lin Yutang, My Country and My people, Beijing; Baowentang Press, (1998)：161.]

董小川， 《儒家文化与美国基督教文化》 北京：商务印书馆，(1999)：45.

[Dong Xiaochuan, Confucianism and American Christian culture Beijing; The Commercial Press, (1999）:45.]

乔磊，《贫富游戏：美国人的财富人生》上海:上海人民出版社，(2011):125.

[Qiao Lei, Rich and Poor Game: American people’s wealth life Shanghai; Shanghai people’s Press, (2011):125.]

黄绍湘, 《美国通史》北京：北京人民出版社，(1979): 12.

[Huang Zhaoxiang, American History Beijing; Beijing People’s Press,(1979):12.]

允康 《社会转型时期中国人的家庭质量》 中国婚姻家庭变迁 (2011):65.

[Yun Kang The Life Quality of Chinese People during the society change, (2011):65.]

董茜 《牵着异乡的手--追访跨国婚姻》作家出版社,(2011):32.

[Dongxi Cross-Country Marriage Writer Press, (2011):32.]

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