论文总字数：30843字

摘 要

朱自清先生的著名散文《荷塘月色》以清新自然的语言展现了独特的韵律美。国内许多翻译家将其译成英文，以期更多外国读者能领略到该篇散文的魅力。本文以奈达的功能对等理论为理论基础，从选词、句法结构、及修辞手法角度详细阐述朱纯深的《荷塘月色》英译文如何实现与原文的对等，使目的语读者能够身临其境般体会到原文作者所表达的情感，获得与原文读者大致相同的感受。

关键词：《荷塘月色》；功能对等理论；选词；句法结构；修辞手法

Contents

1. Introduction 1

2. Literature Review 2

2.1 Previous Study 2

2.2 Introduction to Functional Equivalence Theory 2

3. Analysis of Zhu Chunshen’s Translation under the Guidance of Functional Equivalence Theory 4

3.1 Introduction to He Tang Yue Se 4

3.2 Analysis of Lexicon 6

3.3 Analysis of Syntactic Structure 8

3.4 Analysis of Rhetoric 10

4. Conclusion 12

Works Cited 13

1. Introduction

Translation is an important bridge in culture communication. The translators at home and abroad have never stopped looking for the way how to translate well and there are some standards and theories, such as faithfulness, expressiveness and elegancy put forward by the Chinese translator Yan Fu, and Functional Equivalence Theory put forward by the American translator Eugene A. Nida. Functional Equivalence Theory has great influence on translation field, which makes a solid foundation for modern translation, and provides a new perspective to translation research, especially to literature translation.

He Tang Yue Se is one of the most famous proses of Zhu Ziqing. Its natural language style and the way of writing grief feeling with happy scene reveal the unique charm of it. Many translators translate it into English in order to make its beauty accessible to more foreign readers. There are four translations of He Tang Yue Se, namely, the translation of Zhun Chunshen, the translation of Yang Xianyi and Dai Naidie, the translation of Wang Jiaosheng and the translation of Li Ming. When we look back on the researches on He Tang Yue Se, most of them are about the comparison of these four translations, or focus on the translator’s subjectivity, aesthetics of rhetoric method and the cohesion and so on. There are not too many researches on Zhu Chunshen’s translation from the perspective of Nida’s Functional Equivalence Theory.

According to Nida, to achieve equivalence in translation, a translator should take into account both the author and the reader. A good translation is supposed to not only be faithful to the source text (ST), but also enable the target receptors to understand and appreciate ST in essentially the same way as the original receptors do. Therefore, this theory can be applied as a guiding principle of prose translation.

This essay tries to analyse how Zhu Chunshen’s translation of He Tang Yue Se achieves equivalence, and enables the target receptors to understand and appreciate ST in essentially the same way as the original receptors do from the perspective of Functional Equivalence Theory in the aspects of selection of lexicon, syntactic structure and English rhetoric.

2. Literature Review

2.1 Previous Study

He Tang Yue Se, the masterpiece of Zhu Ziqing, has been regarded as one of the greatest prose in modern Chinese literature. It has attracted generations of Chinese translators take a stab at translating the piece of writing into English. Up to now, there are four English versions of He Tang Yue Se. In 1985, Wang Jiaosheng translated the first version and published on the fifth issue of English World. In 1992, Zhu Chunshen translated the second version and published on the first issue of Chinese Translators. In 1999, Yang Xianyi and Dai Naidie translated the third version and published on the fifth issue of English Learning, and in 2006, Li Ming made the fourth in his own book Translation Criticism and Appreciation. All these four versions have their own respective features.

As collected in CNKI, lots of researchers and scholars have studied these different English versions. In 1998, Li Zhi made his comments on Zhu Chunshen’s translation. He claimed that Zhu’s translation not only conveys the aesthetic beauty of ST, but shows readers the emotion of it, which is very important in translating essays. (Li Zhi, 1998: 32) In 2002, Gan Wenping made a study of Yang Xianyi and Dai Naidie’s translation. On one hand, he analyzes the translation of some words, on the other hand, he finds that this translation makes it convey the ST’s spiritual essence, and reproduces aesthetic beauty in target text (TT).（Gan Wenping, 2002: 520）In 2005, Li Ping also made an analysis of Zhu Chunshen’s translation. He claims that Zhu Chunshen conveys the aesthetic beauty of the ST, and succeeds in making “best words in best order” in his translating.（Li Ping, 2005: 34）And some postgraduates make a comparative study of three translations of He Tang Yue Se translated by Wang Jiaosheng, Zhu Chunshen, and Yang Xianyi and Dai Naidie about thematic progression, drawing conclusions about the way of thematic progression working to connect clauses.

However, up to now, there is not much attention to Zhu Chunshen’ translation of He Tang Yue Se from the perspective of Functional Equivalence Theory.

2.2 Introduction to Functional Equivalence Theory

Equivalence plays a dominant role in translation. Despite the efforts a number of scholars at home and abroad have employed for duration of centuries, the attempt at reconciling all the standpoints into one still fails. This part is going to introduce Nida’s Functional Equivalence Theory which proves to be considerable influential in translation practice.

Nida established the theory of “dynamic equivalence” in 1969 in the book The Theory and Practice of Translation, which later became one of the most influential theories in translation field. He wrote: “translating consists in reproducing in the receptor language the closest natural equivalent of the source-language message, first in terms of meaning and secondly in terms of style.” (Nida, 2004: 12) Dynamic equivalence pursues the closet natural equivalence between the original and the target language. Later Nida used functional equivalence substituted for dynamic equivalence, which he considers “seems more satisfactory in describing the degrees of adequacy of a translation and provides a much sounder basis for talking about translation as a form of communication since the focus is on what a translation does or performs.”(Nida, 2004: 234) Functional equivalence focuses that the response of TT and the ST should be essentially the same by both of the readers. Here equivalence is relative. It means proximity rather than identity. Nida proposes that functional equivalence has two levels: the maximal and the minimal levels. The maximal level means that readers of a translated text should be able to understand and appreciate it in essentially the same manner as the original readers do. However, it is just an ideal realm which could never be achieved, especially when the culture and aesthetic differences are obvious between the two languages. The minimal level means the readers of a translated text should be able to understand and appreciate it to the point where they can conceive what the original readers of the text must have understand and appreciate.

According to Nida’s, to achieve equivalence in translation, a translator should take into account both the author and the reader. A good translation should not only be faithful to the original text, but also enable the target receptors to understand and appreciate it in essentially the same way as the original receptors do. Therefore, this theory can be applied as a guiding principle for prose translation.

This paper tries to analyse how Zhu Chunshen’s translation of He Tang Yue Se reflects Functional Equivalence Theory from the perspective of selection of lexicon, syntactic structure and English rhetoric.

3. Analysis of Zhu Chunshen’s Translation under the Guidance of Functional Equivalence Theory

Since there are no identical equivalents, translator has to seek to find the closest possible equivalents. Some translations try to get very close formal and semantic correspondence, but are generously supplied with notes and comments. Many are so much concerned with giving information as with creating in the reader something of the same mood as was conveyed by the original. Formal equivalence focuses on the message itself, in both form and content. Therefore, a translation under the guidance of formal equivalence pays much attention to correspondences as poetry to poetry, sentence to sentence, and concept to concept. According to this formal orientation, one is concerned that the message in the target language should match as closely as possible the different elements in the source language. In contrast, basing on the functional equivalence, one is not so concerned with matching the target language message with the source language message, but with the functional relationship that the relationship between receptor and message should be substantially the same as that between the original receptors and message.

One way of defining a functional equivalence is to describe it as “the closet natural equivalent to the source-language message.” This type of definition contains three essential terms: “First, equivalent, which points toward the source-language message. Second, natural, which points toward the receptor language. And third, closest, which binds the orientations together on the basis of the highest degree of approximation.”(Nida, 2004: 166)

3.1 Introduction to He Tang Yue Se

He Tang Yue Se is a famous prose in modern Chinese literature. It was written during the failure of the Great Revolution in 1927, when white terror widely spread. Like most responsible Chinese who were full of consciences, Zhu Ziqing was in anxious depression. On the one hand, he wanted to join the later revolution; on the other hand, there are too many worries and hesitation. Therefore, finally, he chose to escape. However, while escaping from the reality, he had to struggle with the contradictions in his deep heart, so he left himself with his existing aesthetic ideas and artfully skip from the narrow circle of life. (Li Ping, 2005: 34) He is so lonely that he only likes to walk along the lotus pond, leaving us the picture of the old Chinese intellectuals suffering wandering along the trail. He Tang Yue Se subtly but gently expresses Zhu Ziqing’s complex thoughts and feelings—his discontent over reality, and desire for freedom and transcending of reality.

Prose is a literature style full of liveliness. The topics of proses can be various, from legend to the real life, or from a little grass to the great human. The passage of a prose can be long or short, and the structures and writing skills are free. Some proses reveal high spiritual essence; some proses show readers a clear and fresh picture; and some proses reveal great philosophical meanings. To translate a prose well, a translator should get a good command of the whole passage, such as writing styles and characters, and reproduce these characters in translation to enable the target receptors to understand and appreciate it in essentially the same way as the original receptors do. (Chen Hongwei, 2012: 203) The writing style and artistic features of He Tang Yue Se are as follows: Firstly, when we read the whole passage, we’ll find the structure of the passage is intact. The logical sequence of this prose is from the generation of the idea of walking around the pond under the moonlight, to going out to see the pond, to watching along the way around the pond, and finally getting home. The whole process is complete. Secondly, the layer of this prose is very clear. It outlines the contours of the pond, then describes the lotus pond, flowers, leaves, running water and a touch of moonlight; finally, it sketches surrounding trees, and the mountains, which constitute a poetic picture combining distance, light and shade. Thirdly, Zhu Ziqing’s profound artistic conception is reflected in this prose. Zhu Ziqing binds static and dynamic, imagination and reality, distance and close, describing for readers a “static”, “quiet”, “light” conception. Fourthly, the language of the prose is rather poetic and full of rhythm. The source language is simple and elaborate, fresh and gloomy, and concise and elegant, rich in sincere emotion. The last feature is about the rhetoric. Zhu Ziqing uses a lot of rhetorical skills, including metaphor, personification, reduplication, synesthesia, which can make the reader feel experiencing the real scenery. Translators always have their own principles and style, but when analysing a translation, we should make reference to the original author’s style and translation principles. (Chen Hongwei, 2012: 203) Here, we are going to analyse how Zhu Chunshen’s translation reproduces the writing style and artistic features of He Tang Yue Se from the aspects of lexicon, structure and rhetoric.

3.2 Analysis of Lexicon

Whether a translation is good or not is always revealed by the choice of word. The meaning of words is always reflected in the aspects of connotation or innotation, commendatory or derogatory sense, and emotion of style. Besides, the function of Chinese and English in grammar and collocation is always different. Therefore, if a translator wants to translate well, he must pay much attention to the choice of lexicon. (Wang Dawei amp;Wei Qing’guang, 2005: 1) There are some points that translators should pay more attention to:(1) the words’ accurate meaning; (2) the general and narrow sense of words; (3) the power of meaning; (4) the judgments of words meaning; (5) the emotion of words (6) collocation of words. The choice of lexicon can reflect a translator’s ability of translation, as well as his (her) unique thinking about translation. The following are some examples in Zhu Chunshen’s translation of He Tang Yue Se that reflect Zhu Chunshen’s translation ability and his unique thought.

1. ST: 这几天心里颇不平静。

TT: It has been rather disquieting these days.

At the beginning of He Tang Yue Se, Zhu Ziqing told us directly that “这几天心里颇不平静” to lay out the psychology and psyche tend of the whole passage. He Tang Yue Se was written in 1927 when the society was in unrest and white terror covered all the country. Like all the other conscious people, Zhu Ziqing, on the one hand, wanted to join the revolution; on the other hand, he had too much thinking and hesitation. Therefore, he escaped and chose to live with deep struggling in his heart. That’s why Zhu Ziqing said that “这几天心里颇不平静”. As to “不平静”，Zhu Chunshen translated it into “disquieting”. In Oxford Advanced Learner’s English-Chinese Dictionary, as an adjective, it means “causing worry and unhappiness.”(Hornby, 2009: 2221) It stresses “worry” and “unhappiness”. As we all know, even though Zhu Ziqing chose to escape, as a patriotic intellectual, faced with white terror, he was worried about our country and unhappy. His worries and unhappiness were because of the country’s unpleasant situation. Therefore, the word “disquieting” used here quite accurately describes Zhu Ziqing’s emotion that he tries to reveal in source text and get readers understand this emotion.

2. ST: 这是独处的妙处，我且受用这无边的荷香月色好了。

TT: That is the beauty of being alone. For the moment, just let me indulge in this profusion of moonlight and lotus fragrance.

We all know that even though Zhu Ziqing is alone, he still pursues freedom. When wandering around the lotus pond alone, he said that “这是独处的妙处，我且受用这无边的荷香月色好了”. In order to make the target language be the closest to source language, Zhu Chunshen uses the word “just” to translate “且”, which is used for self-deprecating. It means that the enjoyment and freedom that the beautiful lotus pond brought to Zhu Ziqing is temporary, and what is waiting for him are reality, unhappiness and disappointment. In Oxford Advanced Learner’s English-Chinese Dictionary, as an adverb, “just” means “exactly” (Hornby, 2009: 1102). This word vividly reflects that Zhu Ziqing is quite helpless at that moment. He realizes soberly that the freedom he is enjoying is temporary and imagined. Though he pursues freedom, he knows that these can not become true under the reality of white terror. Therefore, Zhu Ziqing has no choice but to enjoy the current beauty and freedom. The word “just” is appropriate enough to reflect Qing’s contradiction in his deep heart, and makes source language and target language closest.

3. ST: 这时候最热闹的，要数树上的蝉声与水里的蛙声；但热闹是它们，我什么也没有。

TT: The most lively creatures here, for the moment, must be the cicadas in the trees and the frogs in the pond. But the liveliness is theirs, I have nothing.

When walking around the lotus pond, Zhu Ziqing finds that “这时候最热闹的，要数树上的蝉声与水里的蛙声；但热闹是它们，我什么也没有”. Actually, Zhu Ziqing compares his own situation to the liveliness of cicadas and frogs. As to the word “热闹”, Zhu Chunshen translates it to “lively”. In source language, Zhu Ziqing appreciates this liveliness, and tries to say that he has nothing to show and he desires for this liveliness very much. In Oxford Advanced Learner’s English-Chinese Dictionary, “lively” means “full of life and energy, active and enthusiastic”. (Hornby, 2009: 1184) It accurately conveys the emotion of source language. “Lively” shows readers a society that is full of life and energy that everyone has the right to perform and speak, which forms distinctive comparison to insecurity and caution of speaking under white terror.

4. ST: 我悄悄的披了大衫，带上门出去。

TT: Shrugging on an overcoat, quietly, I made my way out, closing the door behind me.

In ST, there are a series of actions in the sentence ——“披”, “带” and “出去”. In Chinese, closing the door can use “掩” or “关”，but these two words are too straight. Here, the word Zhu Ziqing used not only shows causality, but gives readers peaceful feeling. In the translation, Zhu Chunshen uses “close” to translate “带”. In Oxford Advanced Learner’s English-Chinese Dictionary, the word “close” means “to put something into a position so that it covers an opening or to get into this position” (Hornby, 2009: 361), which simply and directly shows readers the action.

To conclude, Zhu Chunshen’s translation chooses appropriate words to conveys the accurate meaning of ST and Zhu Ziqing’s depressed emotion, making the target readers get the same feeling as the original receptors do.

3.3 Analysis of Syntactic Structure

Both in English and Chinese, the basic syntactic structure are subject, predication and object, but, if making contrastive studies, we will find that there are obvious differences in them.

In the source text, Zhu Ziqing uses different syntactic structure to outline a wonderful picture of lotus pond. Basing on the differences between Chinese and English syntactic structure, Zhu Chunshen chooses some relative translation strategies to make the source text and translation equal at the most. The following examples are going to reveal how the translator balance the differences between Chinese and English syntactic structures and make readers feel the ST’s style.

1.ST: 今晚若有采莲人，这儿的莲花也算得“过头人”了。

TT: If there were somebody gathering lotuses tonight, she could tell that the lilies here are high enough to reach over her head.

A most important difference between Chinese and English is the comparison of hypotaxis and parataxis. Hypotaxis means the dependent or subordinate construction or relationship of clauses with connective. And parataxis means the arranging of clauses one after the other without connectives showing the relation between them. “Paratactic clauses are often said not to show any overt linkage markers. If this is so, then there is clear evidence for independence, of parataxis and maximal overt linking”. (Hopper and Ttraugot, 2005: 180) In English, there are coordinating conjunctions such as “and”, “but” and subordinate conjunctions such as “if”. In Chinese, there are subordinate conjunctions such as “尽管”, “即使” and coordinating conjunctions such as “和”, “与”. Accordingly, Zhu Chunshen translates “若” to “if”. Besides, in translation, Zhu Chunshen adds “she could tell that”, which is not mentioned in ST. Since Chinese pay attention to parataxis, readers can find out this idea that “lilies here are high enough to reach over her head” is come from the one who picks lotus. The added phrase in translation is just echoing to the former “somebody”; therefore, the target readers can understand the prose of He Tang Yue Se and receive the message essentially the same as the original readers do.

2. ST: 像今天晚上，一个人在这苍茫的月下，什么都可以想，什么都可以不想，便觉得是个自由的人。

TT: As it is tonight, basking in a misty moonshine all by myself. I feel I am a free man, free to think of anything, or of nothing.

In order to make the relationship between target receptors and message be substantially the same as that between the original receptors and message, translators should pay much attention to prominent subject. Prominent subject means that the subject and predication phrase can not be missed in a sentence. There is always a subject in a sentence in English, while in Chinese, most sentences have no subjects. Therefore, whether we can use a subject successfully has a great influence on translation. In the above sentence, there is no obvious subject in source sentence, but the sentence is still coherent, because Chinese pay attention to parataxis. The omission of subject can leave readers more room for thinking, which is a typical Chinese language character. In translation, as for there are differences between Chinese and English syntactic structure, and English is a language that must has subject, so Zhu Chunshen adds “I” to the sentence as a subject. The translation is “As it is tonight, basking in a misty moonshine all by myself. I feel I am a free man, free to think of anything, or of nothing.” By adding a subject, the translator makes target readers understand the translation clearly.

3. ST: 路上只我一个人，背着手踱着。

TT: I am on my own, strolling, hands behind my back.

Both in English and Chinese, stresses of sentences always focus on results, conclusion, hypothesis and reality, but the positions of stresses are different. In English, the important parts are always at the beginning of the sentence; while in Chinese, the important parts are always at the end of the sentence. Therefore, to translate Chinese into English, we must adopt back translation, that is to say, to put the order of translation contrast to the original sentence. Zhu Chunshen translates the above sentence into “I am on my own, strolling, hands behind my back”. This sentence describes a picture that Zhu Ziqing is walking alone on the road in a quiet night. Here, what Zhu Ziqing wants to stress is that he is alone, and he is walking. What Zhu Ziqing wants to stress in the ST is put at the end of the sentence; while in translation, it is put at the beginning of the sentence. In this way, the translation can be smooth, and the important information can be stressed.

To conclude, although there are many differences in English and Chinese syntactic structure since there are differences between Chinese and Western modes of thinking, Zhu Chunshen conveys the ST’s meaning well by adding a subject and reorder sentences and so on which reflects the functional equivalence at the most.

3.4 Analysis of Rhetoric

Rhythm beauty is another character of He Tang Yue Se. Zhu Ziqing uses many figures of speech such as reduplication, parallel structure, metaphor to reproduce the rhythm beauty of ST. Zhu Chunshen’s translation maintaines these source rhetoric and keeps the original beauty.

There are 26 reduplication phrases in the whole passage, such as “曲曲折折的荷塘”, “缕缕的清香”, “脉脉的流水”. These reduplication phrases give readers a feeling of being personally on the scene, where readers can see the beautiful scene, hear wonderful sound, smell fragrance. Besides, these reduplication phrases make syllables rich in rhythm, giving readers more enjoyment on rhythm and music. (Wu Jia, 2011: 19)

Zhu Ziqing’s writing performs rhythm perfectly in this prose. However, since there are differences between English and Chinese expression, some reduplications can not be translated accurately. In order to make up for this pity, Zhu Chunshen uses alliteration, for example, “树色一例是阴阴的” is translated into “The shadowy shapes of the leafage”; and assonance, for example,“微风过处，送来缕缕清香，仿佛远处高楼上渺茫的歌声似的” is translated into “A breeze stirs, sending over breaths of fragrance, like faint singing drifting from a distant building”; Free translation is also used, for example, “虽然月光是淡淡的” is translated into “Although the moonlight is not more than a thin, grayish veil”; and plural is also used, for example, “层层的叶子；碧天里的星星” is translated into “layers of leaves; twinkling stars”. In ST, Zhu Ziqing also uses other figures of speech. The following are some typical examples:

1. ST: 我爱热闹，也爱安静；爱群居，也爱独处。

TT: I like a serene and peaceful life, as much as a busy and active one; I like being solitude, as much as in company.

With parallel structure, readers can read the passage fluently. It is easy for expressing emotion, stressing tone, and stressing what the author wants to express. In the above example, the ST is a typical parallel structure, and in TT, Zhu Chunshen uses parallel structure appropriately, showing the beauty of symmetry and balance. The TT adds reflects that Zhu Ziqing pursues peaceful, happy and beautiful life, and makes it possible that readers can find the original author’s characteristic and interest.

2. ST: 月光如流水一般，静静地泻在这一片叶子和花上。薄薄的青雾浮起在荷塘里。叶子和花仿佛在牛乳中洗过一样；又像笼着轻纱的梦。

TT: The moon sheds her liquid light silently over the leaves and flowers, which, in the floating transparency of a bluish haze from the pond, look as if they had just been bathed in milk, or like a dream wrapped in a gauzy hood.

The ST uses many metaphors, full of aesthetic feeling. These metaphors are so useful that they help the original author reproduce fresh imageries, guiding readers to a picturesque world. This sentence uses three metaphors, vividly describing the night scene of lotus pond covered by moonlight. Zhu Chunshen translates “如流水一般” into “liquid light”, “仿佛牛乳重洗过一样” into “as if they have just been bathed in milk”, “笼着轻纱的梦” into “like a dream wrapped in a gauzy hood”, vividly reproducing the bright and beauty of the moonlight, and these appropriate metaphors give readers a true feeling of enjoying a moonlight bath.

Through these figures of speech, Zhu Chunshen’s translation can maintain the original rhythm, and make the beauty of this famous prose available to target readers, thus target readers can get the same feeling as the original receptors do.

4. Conclusion

Functional Equivalence Theory has great influence on translation field, which makes a solid foundation for modern translation, and provides new perspective for translation research, especially for literature translation. From the above analysis of choice of lexicon, syntactic structure, and English rhetoric, we can see that basing on Functional Equivalence Theory, Zhu Chunshen makes deep analysis and has a deep understanding of ST. He makes some proper adjustments of the translation to reshape it so that the ST can be available to TT readers. On the choice of lexicon, he chooses accurate words which give target readers the real feeling of the original author’s disquieting emotion; on the syntactic structure, he pays attention to conjunctions, adds subjects, and reorders sentences, reflecting the functional equivalence at the most. On the English rhetoric, he uses reduplication, parallel structures, and metaphors to make target readers exposed to the beauty of the moonlight over the pond.

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