从电影《天伦之旅》比较中美家庭观念差异

论文总字数：27039字

摘 要

家庭不仅是社会的载体，而且也是社会稳定和发展的基础。家庭成员的价值观直接或间接地决定了他们在社会交往中的各种行为和言语。电影通过艺术形象的展示，充分地反映不同社会文化。家庭电影细腻地向我们展示了中西方家庭观念的差异与不同。

影片《天伦之旅》，通过讲述一位年迈的父亲独自踏上拜访四个儿女的孤独之旅，折射出美国人民的家庭观念。本文以此影片为基础，从五个角度剖析中美家庭文化，探究中美家庭价值观的差异，为更深层次的中美文化差异研究奠定基础的同时，也促进与加强中美文化交流。

关键词：《天伦之旅》；家庭观念；家庭电影

Contents

1. Introduction………………………………………………………………1
2. Literature Review………………………………………………………1
3. Differences in Chinese and American Family………………....….2

3.1 Differences in family relationship..............................................2

3.2 Differences in family communication way.................................4

4. Differences in Family Education........................................................5

4.1 Chinese family education.........................................................................5

4.2 American family education.......................................................................6

5. Differences in Marital Relationship.................................................7

5.1The way of spouse-selection...........................................................7

5.2The purpose of marriage……………………………………………........8

6. Conclusion………………………………………………………………..9

Works Cited……………………………………………………………….10

1. Introduction

Film Everyone"s Fine remakes from Italian director Giuseppe Tornatore’s 1990 film of the same name. The outstanding actor Robert De Niro of the American film industry acts the leading role. Everyone’s Fine is a wonderful film that moves everyone.

Before retired, the elderly Frank used to be a worker giving the wire coated with a protective layer and his work makes his lung function and heart conditions are not satisfactory. Usually Frank’s wife contacts with four children. After she died, Frank finds himself farther and farther away from the kids who distributed in different cities. To a family gathering the day, none of the kids appears. At the coming Christmas, elderly and sick Frank disregard doctor"s opposition, decides to travel alone to visit his children not seen for years, giving them a big surprise. However, Frank has discovered that four kids not or live a happy life as his wife said, but each faces different problems. And the kids are choosing to use lies to comfort him. This makes Frank full of suspicion, mixed feelings. With mixed feelings, old Frank sets foot on the way home. Unfortunately, Frank was sent to a hospital on half-way, because of a heart attack. Three children gathered around Frank finally, but the younger son still does not appear…

Home films delicately show us the values differences between Chinese and western families. From the home film Everyone’s Fine, this paper aims to make us have a right knowledge of cultural differences between China and America, making us have the chances to learn some outstanding family values from each other. All of these will contribute to cross-cultural communication of China and America.

2. Literature Review

Everyone’s Fine is one of the typical American warmth films, which has two themes: heroism and family. Different people have different opinions about a work. Many audiences are moved by this film, especially Liu Xue and Ma Qiang. They analyze this work from all aspects, making us better understand the American family values, including comprising to Chinese family（Liu Xue＆Ma Qiang,2013:7）. Many scholars study the differences between China and the United Stated from lots of aspects and family value is one important point of them. Family is the carrier to present the social cultures. To a certain extent, family value is one of the most significant factors to decide the diversity of culture. Therefore, family structure, education, relationship of marriage and family communication way are the entry points to do the researches.

There are many forms can reflect the differences of various cultures and film is one good material to analyse these differences. Accordingly many research articles are based on Cross-cultural films. These films reflect adequately the conflict between China and the United Stated, such as Gua Sha, Pushing Hand and The Joy Lucky Club, which are classical cross-cultural films. These conflicts the film shows in an exquisite way, which really exist in real life, even more drastically. Starting from these cross-cultural films, we can more fully understand the differences between two countries, which can help us to prevent culture shock in inter-cultural communication. At the same time, we can learn some excellent cultural essence from each other, which can be used to change ours undesirable cultural vice. There is a Chinese saying: we believe that there are ways to keep the positive attributes of flash, while removing the negatives. What we try to do is what this sentence saying.

3. Differences in Family Structure

The family is the foundation of social composition while society is the carrier of culture. Different cultures of China and the United States make the two countries have formed unique family structures. The biggest scale of American family structure is nuclear family while extended family is the largest one in China.

Nuclear family is constituted by the father, mother and children. American family form is diverse. Dink family is a new type of family relationship, which is the useful exploration of the family structure at the background of the trunk family and the nuclear family. In contrast, in China, the family is based on kinship ties, composed by several generations of family members, relatives or pro-marriage relationship, which is called dilated or extended family, emphasizing collectivism. Since the implementation of Chinese family planning, structural integrity and the smallest one-child family model has become the typical pattern of the city (Feng Xiaotian, 1992:1).

3.1 Differences in Family Relationship

Because of great effect of traditional family values, Chinese parents always meant authority as ruler at the heart of the family. Children will always be children in parent’s eyes. Parents can teach their children for a long time, even if the child has married.

In two thousand years of Chinese traditional thought, respecting for the elderly has always been traditional Chinese virtues. In the family, the elderly will be able to educate young persons and the younger should respect their elders, which itself is a kind of interpersonal inequality. To children, parents play a more important role than friends, and the elderly are the symbol of authority (Yeon Sun Park amp;M.A, 2011:17). Long-term in this environment, the child gradually gets used to living under multiple rules. However, with great improvement of living standards and the implementation of family planning policies, many families run to the extreme, letting the children in a special position in the family and focusing on the protection of children who directly become the center of people.

In Chinese family, parents are on behalf of their children, and children always choose docile and obedient attitude. Chinese parents live frugally, letting the children live better. Don’t let the child live hard as they suffering and good things let children enjoy only. To child, they meet any needs excessively, and lay much emphasis on economic, which resulted in another inequality of family relationship (Feng Xiaotian, 1992:1). In China, Confucianism has been holding a dominant position, and has a far-reaching effect on people. Chinese people have the idea "raise children to old age," so it is taken for granted that children to support their parents. China"s old man pays attention to family atmosphere, so that the best dignity of life is to live comfortably, to have many grandchildren. Chinese old people are busy for families and children. (Zhong Weixuan, 2010:11).

In American family, parents pay great attention to freedom and equality. They respect children at an early age, laying stress on child"s personal autonomy. Children are regarded as an independent individual, and get respect and understanding they should have. Children can freely express their viewpoints in front of parents. If they have some unique ideas, parents will appropriate rewards. American parents rarely intervene in children, and give great encouragement to what they want. Americans focus on personal privacy. For the uninvited visitors, even if parents are absolutely welcome.

In the United States, children at the age of 18, whether married or not, will leave parents and rent out. According to a survey of the 1970th, only 1.5% couples live with parents after married while vast majority of them live alone（Feng Xiaotian,1992:1）. They keep the idea that adults need their own space which is personal privacy and it is amazing to still live with parents. Moving out from home does not mean leave parent but the time to return them.

In this film, Frank lives with his wife in the big house after four children leave home. After divorced, Amy lives alone with her son. Rosie is single but lives together with her premarital pregnancy baby and her "boyfriend". When Amy"s husband Jeff see father-in-law, just a first-name “Hey, Frank” Frank don’t angry, but warm hug instead. When Frank knows his son Robert in fact is just a drummer not bandleader as his wife said, Robert admitted to his father: “It’s low pressure, and l enjoy it, l get to travel, the money’s fine, l got no ties.” From Robert, we can see the United States young he representative pursuit the freedom. They concern their independence and personal value, rather than the extended family.

3.2 Differences in Family Communication Ways

Communication is an integral part of family and communication approach is an important factor directly related to the state of family life. Statistics show that a large proportion of Chinese families have problems about children grown-up in varying degrees. Moreover, parents are weak at communicating with their children, which is the crux of most families.

Many Chinese pay more attention to their career, especially men, putting the apprentice and fortune first, and less time with their children, mostly grandparents attend to. Grandparents give first priority to grandchildren, from birth to be get married...There are even old people rob to take care of children. Compared to their parents, many children rely more on grandparents. Children growing in such environment have more serious generation gap with their parents. In Chinese families, parents say more than children, and play a decisive role, sizing matters in home, while the child is in leadership, which makes communication is passive. Most Chinese parents will command and accused children.

All American students have pointed out that their families allow child to discuss sex with parents, so kids can increase sexual awareness. In Chinese family, due to the influence of conservative views, sex is considered as taboos and most of the children seldom talk to their parents about sex. By comparison, the American family is much more open（Zhu Meihua,2002:37）.Children are equally independent individuals as parents, can speak freely. For what children want to say, parents always encourage. We often see that American parents can communicate with their children as friends, not with the identity of the elders. Parents will not force or ask a child to do anything. “All children need love expression of parents, especially physical contact.” Professor Fernandez stressed body language expressions and pointed out that Chinese parents are relatively restrained, which make them are shame-making to kiss the child. In the contrast, kissing and hugging children are common in American family.

In the film, Frank let Robert to smoke less, more like a friend in persuading .With the fast development of technology, high-tech products has infiltrated every area of life. Many children are deeply addicted to high-tech products, which add an obstacle on the road of communicating with parents. This is to say, Sino-US parents have the same feelings. An American mother whose son refused to answer the phone invented the application called “no longer ignore”(Ignore No More), which can lock the phone all the features.

4. Differences in Family Education

Different social culture leads to different values of China and the United States, which also directly affect differences in concept of family education between two countries. With the advance of human civilization, society increasingly requires more talent who are comprehensive development, because modern society needs more vibrant people. Clearly, the US family education is more able to bring up people who are flamboyant, creative and viable while Chinese family education training is the “well-behaved” and “hidebound study” people who are so-called “talent”.

4.1 Chinese Education

Chinese family pay great attention to traditional Chinese education, emphasizing love and obedience, emphasizing the family to unite as a whole, emphasizing the individual to be consistent with the collective. Chinese parents often prefer “shaping” the kids and want them to develop as their own wishes. They tend to use their reasons to interfere in the natural development of children, which largely deprived children freedom of choice. For Chinese people, good boy is stable and obedient (Zhang Yunshang,2006:2). Though Chinese’s education advocates to encourage children, there are many still critics sound in many families, leading kids to do things passively, weak self-awareness, poor adaptability of social activities.

Fondness is a general social phenomenon in China. In contemporary Chinese family, only- children has become the one big characteristic. Most parents try to give their children the best and what children want. But fondness makes children enjoy unduly and easily become vain. In reality, most parents educate children in the light of their own mode of thinking, which throttle seriously non-intelligence factor of children, such as mentality, motion, will and interest and so on.

In recent years, “NEET” phenomenon appears continuously. What is Neet? They are young people whose age from 20 to 30,do not find a job and study further, giving up the chances of train even they are strong enough to support themselves. Because of relying on their parents and families（Liu Xue＆Ma Qiang,2013:7）, these young lose the ability to independently take care of themselves and lacking the family responsibility. They still grow up under their parents’ wings.

4.2 American Education

In contrast, American family education more likes what we called “stocking”. American parent will give proper guidance, instead of being blind to let children develop freely on their own. When Chinese parent are thinking about how to make the right choices for their children, they are breaking apart the reality and let the children choose independently.

American family education mainly cultivates pioneering spirit and competitiveness of child so that he can become a self-reliant person. In family, parents lay great stress on the development of children subjective initiative. Family encourages children to enterprise while opposes to repression their individuality, and attach importance to cultivate children to stand on their feet and be responsible for themselves. They also encourage their children to leave home early, to live independently. Therefore, compared to Chinese children, American children are more cheerful, dare, having innovative spirit.

American advocates democracy, justice and freedom. Children have equal rights in formulating family rules with their parents. Usually, parents can be tolerant of children naughty and do not pay attention to details because of their open education. Such democracy has created an atmosphere which contributes to young Americans with strong independence from generation to generation.

American parents pay attention to help a child set up clear economic concept and economic sense of economic since childhood. They also teach their children how to have a plan to consume the limited pocket money, and how to find a way to make money (Zhang Yunshang, 2006:2).Such education of economic ideas becomes the basic of the earlier economic independent consciousness of young Americans. Americans advocate individualism, which contributes to liberation of individual, but also leads to the separation of family members and indifference of the relationship even if a home.

In the film Frank keep highly hopes for the four children, especially David. He hopes David can become a great painter who he proud of, not the ordinary one. After 18 years, children leave home, living alone and having strong social skills. David desires to become a great painter and make a modicum of success as Frank wish. Amy became the company"s senior director of advertising. In a car restaurant, an experienced nearly a century American elderly talk to Frank about his children: “They’re too busy to talk to me. They don’t need anybody. Today, you shake hands with somebody, you have got to count your fingers to make sure that you got five fingers back”. That individualism ideological Americans advocate to educate child the idea that learn to perceive themselves as individuals. They are responsible for their life and destiny.

5. Differences in Marital Relationship

Marital relationship is the basis of family ties. In traditional concept of marriage, the two countries have similar views on the relationship between husband and wife, as the wife should subordinate to her husband, husband and wife are loved. In China, it is the obligation and responsibility for wife to serve her husband, while in the United States husband and wife reflects a more intimate relationship of love（Liu Xue＆Ma Qiang,2013:7）.There are many differences of marriage between China and America, especially in choosing spouse, the marriage life, the purpose of marriage and so on.

5.1 The Way of Spouse-Selection

Perfect match (be matched for marriage) is an ancient Chinese way to mate which is out from “Romance of The West Chamber”, meaning that if two family have the same social status and economic situation, the young are quite suitably marry. This concept of Good match has been deeply rooted in hearts of Chinese people. Although the fast growth of economic, only a few people accept western culture change concept of marriage, asking for freedom and personal individuality. Most people cannot do out of family and social constraints. After the free love object is selected, the first to do is to get agreement of both parents. All parents think that economic base determines the superstructure and only good material can provide a stable life. They believe that marriage is not only a marriage of two people but also of two families. If do not get parental permission and support, the couple"s marriage would be more difficult (Jing Wenshu, 2009:8). In rural China, marriage usually requires three gold (gold necklace, gold earrings, gold bracelets), even hundreds of millions, none of which means cannot get a wife. A female guest said in a stall famous dating show “You Are the One”：“I would rather cry in the BMW car, than laugh happily behind the bicycle”. This words is popular in the network, but in line with the current mentality of many women.

The freedom to choose the object is dominated in the American concept of marriage. For love and mate, American youth choose in full accordance with their preferences. The United States believes that marriage is a private matter and a contractual relationship between man and woman, nobody can interfere. In the United States, marriage is decided by man and woman both parties together. It has nothing to do with both family and parents, which stems from its values of freedom and equality. Both men and women pay more attention to character and interests, instead of their appearance, work, education, family background and social status and religion. Frequently, we can see marriage revelation in newspapers and magazines, Chinese men usually lists their achievements: degree, occupation, family background and economic status, while American men lists their personal preferences and characteristics.

5.2 The Purpose of Marriage

In China, “every male should take a wife and every female should take a husband” seems to be destined, and it is a big deal that cannot be inevitable. When children reach a certain age to marry, parents always hop them have a glamorous weeding ceremony. If children choose not to get married, they will lose face of the whole family. In this case, parents will urge them to married, and look for some ideal people, forcing children to make blind date. Many people follow the traditional ethics and thoughts of parents, only a few for his true intention. Another purpose of marriage is to carry on the family line. In traditional Chinese cultures, It’s a greatest achievement and satisfaction to see sons and grandsons pervaded the hall before he died. Some Chinese marriages have nothing to do with love. In the family, love always transfers to kinship which is the most important.

That two people get along well and satisfied with each other is the main way of American marriage. American are independence and realistic, so few of them in to get married for family and marriage. The report by the US Census Bureau in 2003 showed that the United States has 4.6 million “non-marital family” composed by heterosexual. Many people are unwilling to get married. The survey of single people whose are 40-69 years of old of Association of Retired People (AARP) survey shows that only 8% of the people list the marriage object as a reason for Dating, and 49% of people say that they date just to find a guy to chat and work together, in other words - is to find a partner (Jing Wenshu, 2009:8). Economic situation is an important factor for the United States to consider, and they hope to be independent in economy, then work together to create a happy life (Yeon Sun Park, 2011:17).When asked what is the real purpose of marriage, three-quarters of Americans say that it is the adults" common happiness and a sense of accomplishment, instead of “child bearing and rearing”.

Same-sex marriage is not acceptable in China that would be subjected by pressure from various groups. In America, many people are in favor of same-sex marriage. Even US President Barack Obama in the 2012 election also publicly support gay, and is in favor of the legalization of gay marriage.

From the film, we can see Frank does not interposed in Amy’s unfortunate marriage. He does not say anything when know Rosie was gay. At the end of the film, when we see Amy"s boyfriend Tom and Rosie"s “boyfriend” Jluy also reunite around the Christmas dinner table, talking and laughing happily, enjoying happiness, Frank, from heart, is totally in favor of the children choice of love. Gathered to see this enjoyable scene, Frank cannot help but laughed.

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